Who could Ever Love a Beast?
by Birgitta Snyder
Summary: "I'll take care of it. I'll track the killer and if it's Ray, then I'll…" I stop there, unable to finish. If Ray is alive and has killed innocents, then I am expected to kill him. Catherine expects me to. And, whatever Catherine needs and wants is hers… usually… but this is different. (chapter 11)
1. Daydreaming

Ok, so let's try this again. Wanted to make some changes to I removed the other Beauty and Beast stories. No worries, they will be added once I reach that point.  
If you like the story and you want more – review! Especially, if you make the story a favorite or decide to follow the story.  
You like to read my story – I like to read your reviews. So I write chapters and you write reviews. Sounds like a deal to me.

Hope you enjoy Chapter 1. Birgitta

I own nothing. All rights belong to CW

**Daydreaming.**

Despite time lapsed and frequency, I can remember every single time I've felt her touch. Clearly, I can relive the memory and evoke the sensation her touch set off. The touches were all innocent, friendly, and with no intimate intention. Still, it didn't matter. Perhaps, it's because of the experimental drugs they injected into me making everything heightened. Or, maybe, it is because it is her.

9 years ago, when our paths first crossed and I first saw her, I had felt it. It cannot be explained properly. It was as if a permanent link was established and from that very moment, there has always been an uncontrollable pull towards her. And, no matter what my mind would reason, or JT, the gravitation has proven inevitable; I had to be where she was. I began to follow her, watch over her, and ensure myself of her safety. Sleep and eating proved difficult unless I knew that she was safe.

I shared none of this with JT. He would not approve. He would not understand. For him, as long as I was safe and not on Muirfield's radar, all was well and fine. But, it wasn't. I was neither well nor fine. I needed more. I needed her.

Throughout the years, I followed her advancements and I took pride in her achievements. She was alive because of me. Because of my rescue, she was able to carry on with life and make a difference. The realization felt good so I started to venture out. I was a Doctor and I should share my expertise with those in need. Muirfield had taken my humanity and turned me into this 'thing' but they had not wiped away the ability of the man. I could still make a difference. I had with Catherine so why not with others?

Then, that night came when all changed. JT would say for the worse, and perhaps I might have too in the beginning, but it is really the night when I regained my wish for truly living. Before that night, I was mostly just going through the motions and crossing of days on a wall calendar. It wasn't until she found me and realized who I was that waking up to a new morning would fill me with excitement. She made me happy to be alive. She made me begin to hope again, dream, and wish for more, for better, and for a future… with her.

It didn't happen overnight; me allowing her in and she lowering her wall. The obstacles were many and they were hard to maneuver around. She was adamant about her mother and she kept pushing my button, setting off the Beast. Yet, she didn't run. I can't understand why she hasn't run and how I haven't scared her off. When I change, when the Beast comes out, I am ugly, terrifying, and a menace. I had believed myself to be uncontrollable in this state. Yet, somehow, she is able to calm me and bring me back. Even as a Beast, she affects me.

"Daydreaming again?"

Even though I had heard JT come home, the Beast part of me is always alert and focused even when I am not, I had chosen not to go below to greet him. Communication and interaction has been tense between us lately. It used to be just the two of us. Despite of Muirfield, things used to be uncomplicated and straightforward. Now, there is Catherine and with every day she possesses an ever greater part of my mind. JT doesn't approve. He argues that it is dangerous, for all parties and I agree. Nonetheless, I can't comply with his advice and expel her from my life. What kind of life would it be if she was not in it?

"Have you worked on the cure today?"

'_The cure'_, I mull, glancing over at the lab. It's been collecting dust lately. There was a time when I had worked frantically, back when I still had hope that my condition could be reversed. But now, after so many years of disappointments and failed results, the fire has gone out in me. It frustrates and angers JT, I can understand why, yet I can't get myself to restart.

"You know…" JT says as he heads towards the stairs. Hearing unusual tolerance in his voice, I look up. "…if I were you, I'd stop daydreaming about her and focus on lab work. 'Cause if you were to found a cure, those fantasies might actually become reality."

JT leaves me with my thoughts which I appreciate. He has made a solid point. Without a cure, without ridding myself of this poison inside of me, there is no chance of ever becoming more with Catherine. I am a Beast and she is a Beauty, and as long as that remains, my daydreams of the two of us will stay just that; dreams and fantasies. If I am to make her mine, in real life and in the flesh, I have to rid myself of the Beast and become just man. It is the only way.

Determined, I rise from my stool and head over to my laboratory. I have regained the drive to find a cure. This time, there is a prize to be won and it's a real Beauty.

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	2. How to Calm a Beast

Quick update thanks to those who reviewed. My writing is fueled by reviews. **So if you want more, let me know by reviewing**. Thanks!

Chapter 2, hope you like it, Birgitta

All rights belong to CW

**2. How to Calm a Beast**

After an hour of unsuccessful lab work, I begin getting antsy. I know the feeling well. It starts out small with my concentration faltering and my mind drifting. As I continue to work, trying my best to ignore the unease, the sensation grows and spreads. My limbs become tingly and tense as they prepare for movement. I know where they want to go. My whole body wants to get going, track her down, and unsure that she is alright. It's been hours since I've seen her, heard her voice, inhaled her scent, and been close enough to carefully touch her. My interaction with her is always calculated and kept innocent for I couldn't have her know.

Looking down at my hands, I notice that my fingers are trembling just slightly. Working is becoming impossible. When I get this way, there is no other solution then to stop all and just go. Without knowing for sure, without ensuring myself, and seeing with my own eyes, I won't be any good for any task. There is no point to fight it. There is no fighting it. Believe me… I've tried. For months, I have tried but her power over me is absolute.

"JT, I'm going out."

Irritable, JT grumbles something that not even my ears can distinguish. Despite clearly displaying his disapproval, he doesn't even get off the couch or turn away his gaze from the TV screen. He's given up. Just like me, he has come to the realization that it's too late. I am too far gone. She's got me and I would rather get caught by Muirfield than never be with her again.

Once outside, I am able to track her easily, despite being miles apart, and I find her at a crime scene downtown. Catherine is a great detective and she is the first one called when there has been a homicide in the city. I take pride in this fact. Not just because I help her with her cases and because I've saved her life several times, but because I see her as mine. I shouldn't. God knows I shouldn't. Yet, I can't stop my mind from thinking what my heart is feeling.

Staying out of the way so that I won't be seen, I place myself high on top of a building. From here, I can see and hear everything. It is not just Catherine that I survey. I watch and listen for clues that may be valuable to her. Helping her solve crimes, helping her advance in her career, gives me purpose and it has brought me closer to her. I'm a fool, this I am aware of for it can never be. Nonetheless, I like making her happy, in any way I can. This wasn't always the case. In the beginning, when she first found out about me, I resisted her. I played hard to get and pretended that her spontaneous visits displeased me.

'_Yeah right, displeased me'_, I huff on the inside because the reality of my emotions whenever she would show up would be the very opposite of anger. Whenever I sensed her presence, knew that she had come to see me, I would levitate. She had come to see me… me… a Beast… a military experiment gone wrong. She could be anywhere, be with anyone, but she had chosen to come to me. At first, it was because of her mom. Then, it was because of a case she needed my help with. Now… now...

I huff at myself as I catch myself thinking up more wishful and disillusioned foolishness. Catherine has seen me at my worst and it is not a pretty sight. She hasn't run, at least not yet. Still, I am not a vision any woman would have romantic fantasizes about. Especially a Beauty like Catherine who can have…

"Vincent?" It's her voice, wording my name. Emptying my face of all revealing emotions, I turn to watch her as she meets me at the ledge. "I was hoping you would be up here."

"You know me well," I say, stating the truth since, besides JT, she knows me better than anyone. She knows the good, the bad, and the ugly. "I've been waiting for you."

'_I'm always waiting for you'_.

"So, did you see or hear anything suspicious?"

Her whole focus is on me; her eyes meeting mine and her body rotated against me. She stands so close that I can feel her hot breath brushing against my neck, sensuously caressing and painfully teasing. She is short, shorter than me, and she is petite. I have felt her in my arms several times and my arms have memorized her weight. She is perfect, every part of her, and I want her so bad it is excruciating.

"Vincent?"

There is a frown in between her eyebrows. She does that a lot and often it is caused by me, like now. I am supposed to be answering her and instead, I am daydreaming and carrying on with a monologue in my head.

"Sorry," I grimace at my own idiotism. I give a quick shake, resetting my brain towards the case. "JT wasn't too pleased that I left."

I am not lying, just saving my own ass, and she buys it. "Sorry, I'm always making trouble for you."

Her hand comes up and cradles my right cheek, the one with the scar, my ugly side. So that I won't give anything away, show her how much I love her touch and attention, I look down over the edge onto the people below. The witness is still down there, so is the body, Catherine's partner, and… _him_.

"She's hiding something," I say as I feel my heartbeat accelerating.

'_Look away_,' I urge myself. '_Ignore him. He is no one. He means nothing to her_,' I try to convince myself in an effort to calm myself so the Beast won't come forth. But, I am lying for the man below holds a major part of her life and he also does not have to hide in the shadows like I do. He gets to share her life in a way that I will never be able to do. He is an equal. He is worthy.

Catherine's hand is removed and her focus is redirected to the homicide case. "Who? The witness? Did she do it?" She rushes excitedly, completely unaware of my inner struggle to control the anger and hold off the Beast.

I shake my head as I concentrate on controlling my breathing and rate. "No, but she knows more than she is letting on. She is either protecting someone or …"

"…someone is threatening her to stay silent," Catherine finishes.

Below, I catch him say her name and I zoom in on him. I hate his voice. It is as stuck up and arrogant as the man himself. I've heard him putting on air several times, trying to impress Catherine, by using unnecessary medical and scientific terminology. I would never do that. I would never act superior or use my schooling to outdo her. Who does that? What kind of man does that? Not a man who cares for a woman, who will take care of her, who would sacrifice all to be with her. Nevertheless, despite being selfish and self-loving, he is more worthy of her than me.

"Gorgeous, isn't she?... We've been on a date or two…. I have a way with women… She won't be any different… Eventually, they all fall for the…."

With each reference to Catherine, the anger rises and the need for ripping, smashing, and crushing grows more and more acute. The Beast wants to be set free so it can shut up the man. He is speaking of our Catherine; bragging about her as if she is his. What has this man done to deserve her? Has he saved her life? Has he risked his own life to be near her? Would he die for her? What does he know of…

"Vincent? Vincent?"

Warm hands enclose my face and worried brown eyes tries to find mine. Looking down at her, the image of her is blurry and the sound of her outcry is distorted by my loud breathing. I am changing and I had not even been aware. The Beast is taking over and there is only one thing on its mind; the man's destruction. It wants to kill him, eliminate him, and subtract him from the equation.

"Vincent, what's wrong? Tell me what's wrong?"

I pant, violent breaths in and out, and my beat is rushing. Panicky, I try to regain control but it is useless. The Beast wants blood and there is nothing anyone can do to…

Before even the Beast can react, arms come around me and my chin is resting against brown soft hair. I inhale, drawing in the scent of her shampoo, her lotion, her perfume, her apartment, her car, her… all the components that make up her specific aroma. Her scent is as unique and spectacular as her and with it surrounds me from all sides, all other things lose meaning and importance. My arms come up and grab a hold of her and I cling. I need her, the Beast needs her, and in her arms we both find peace. Slowly, I feel my heart beat slowing and the Beast fades back until it is just me.

"What happened?" She asks again and her tone holds such sadness that it twists my heart. "Why, Vincent? Have I done something wrong?"

The knife in my heart twists ever more as she takes on the blame for my misconduct. "Catherine, you could never…" I start to ensure her.

"Catherine, are you up here?"

I leap off the edge, down the side of the building, as I hear her partner approach. On a fire escape, I wait until it is safe to move. Catherine hesitates when leaving, her footing tells me this, and then I hear the distinct sound of pencil scratching. She is writing me a note. Once all is quiet above, I dare to leap up to the top. Tucked under a broken tile, I find a white small piece of paper. With trembling fingers, still reeling from the anger and the embrace, I unfold the note.

_Tell me. Please_.

She wants to know what brought forth the Beast. There had been no threat, no reason, so of course she is confused. Out of seemingly nowhere, I had begun to change. She needs an explanation, she deserves an explanation, yet, I cannot tell her. What can I say? I overheard him speak of her and I got jealous because he is able to share her life in a way that I never can? I can't tell her this for it would reveal my true feelings for her and that could never be.

For the next days, I stay hidden and concealed. I don't show myself to her for I still have not decided what to say. I am hoping that time will lessen her need for an explanation. It's wishful and useless hoping for she is a detective. Details and information is an obsession of hers, particularly when it concerns me. From the very beginning, from the very moment she found out about me, I have been a fascinating project. Whether she could admit or not, to her I'm a case to study and solve. So, she won't let it go. No matter how many days pass, she will want an answer to why I began to change. She'll want to know what set me off.

But no matter the reasoning and the logic, it is hard to stay distant. I hate having to stay back, hide, and avoid her. She needs me. I can tell by the way she searches for me. Watching from above, 12 stories up, I notice how her head sweeps side to side and up. I want to acknowledge my presence. Let her know that I am here. Let her know that she is not alone. But, I can't. I shouldn't. It's not wise… then again, not much I've done lately has been wise.

She is with her partner. They have figured who are behind the threatening of the witness and ultimately the homicide. I've helped some, passing notes like a child, but the real credit belongs to Catherine and her partner. They make a good team…. Yeah, I guess I'm a bit jealous of her too.

She passes by me, tearing through the narrow passage, as I am sitting in the darkened part of a balcony. The suspects have taken flight and Catherine is in pursuit. Catherine is fast and capable, faster than her partner who is still inside the apartment, yet I can't resist. I can't sit idle when there is a possibility that something might go wrong. If she was to get hurt, die, and I could have prevented it… No! I can't have that!

I leap from balcony to balcony, past a sprinting Catherine, catching up to the killers. Just as they take a corner, I jump down in front of them and knock one of them out instantly. Instinctually, the other one draws his gun and points it at me. A shot goes off and it brushes past my left shoulder, cutting through fabric and flesh. It stings and the Beast roars in anger. I can feel the fury bubbling and rising. It won't be long now. My fist flings out and the shooter falls to the ground unconscious. His gun flies out of his hand and skids along the asphalt.

'_They had a gun. They could have shot her…'_

"Vincent!"

'_They could have killed her. She would have been dead. I would have been left alone…'_

"Vincent! Calm yourself. They'll see. It's ok. It's over…"

She's talking to me, trying to reason with me, trying to get me to calm down, trying to get the Beast to calm down, but it's too late. The anger over these men, who might have killed her and taken her away from me, is too great. I want to rip them apart and ensure myself that they will never try to harm her again. I want to slash, smash, break, crush, kill… kill… ki…

Lips on mine. Soft warm lips enclosing mine, the Beasts. Petite enticing body pressed close as fingers works their way into my hair. The Beasts relaxes and let's go. Fully satisfied and taken, I submerge myself in her and her kiss. Just like with her embrace, I feel my body stilling and calmness sets in. The Beauty of her not only surrounds me, it sinks into me like I am breathing her in. Pulling away, her eyes seek mine and she finds them. The Beast has been appeased without smashing or hurting or killing. A simple kiss did it… from her.

"Go," she urges but my feet won't obey. She smiles, ensuring me. "Go!"

The sound of her partner approaching has my feet finally responding but I don't go far. I stay back to watch her, study every movement, every look, and every word for clues. Catherine kissed me and not just me. She kissed the Beast. Why? Was it just to save me from exposure? Was it so that the Beast would not kill those men? Or… do I dare to hope for another reason?

'_I cannot be_,' I argue, refusing to let myself dream so high and so hopelessly.

The thoughts continue to spin, around and around, without me ever reaching a conclusion. Asking her would be the sensible thing to do. Just come out and ask her.

'NO!' I shout in my head, anxiety and fear preventing me to seek the logical way out of my dilemma. I'd rather suffer in silence and drive myself mad. I'd rather lay down in bed, undressed under my sheets, and recall the kiss. I'd rather relive the event in my head, over and over again, when for a brief perfect moment her body and lips were pressed against me and all was perfect.

**Chapter 2 – what do you think? I won't know unless you review.**

**Chapter 3 is Catherine's POV. Let me know what you think is going on in her head.  
Thanks, Birgitta**


	3. Just a Simple Kiss

Reviews! That's what it is! Once those reviews start pouring in, my writing adrenaline gets going and the writing is set aflame!

You want more – review! It is that simple, ya'll.

I have been preoccupied writing my other story "Late Night Visit" Cat's POV which is almost complete. Just want to fine tune the sexy parts. Can't rush these things

Hope you enjoy it. Next chapter is Vincent coming home and realizing Cat has been there. Thanks for the reviews. Keep 'em comin', Birgitta

I own nothing. All rights to story, character etc belongs to CW

**3. Just a simple kiss.**

"What?"

JT cracks the door and greets me in his normal pleasant way. He has never approved of me knowing about Vincent, spending time with Vincent, or getting closer to Vincent. Part of me wonders how much it truly has to do with safety and how much of it is really based on jealously. It's been just the two of them for so long… and then I showed up. I guess JT feels a bit left out, pushed to the side, and abandoned. He is like a dumped ex-girlfriend who hasn't gotten over Vincent yet.

I choke the giggle bubbling 'cause I don't think JT would share my amusement and besides, I'm here for a reason. "You know what I want, JT. Is Vincent here?"

"No!"

I sigh. JT doesn't disappoint. He is forever accommodating and helpful. Normally, I have more patience with his snappy nature but not today. I really need to see Vincent or at least deliver my letter.

"Look," I say, hoping to reach JT somehow. I have to for things have been spinning in my head for days, ever since the kiss, and I have to get it cleared before I go insane. "Vincent and I have a deal. It can't go more than a week without us talking."

I hold for JT's reaction but he is a stone wall. There is nothing but his blank bored stare.

'_Nice_', I grumble on the inside and the irritation increases.

JT such be wise to watch it. Sure, I like him, mostly because of what he has done for Vincent all these years. But still. Vincent is not the only one with a temper. I may not turn into a Beast but this Beauty can become a real Bitch when pushed too far.

"Something… happened… between us and… I just need to talk to him about it," I reveal, unsure how much JT knows.

"He's not here," JT settles again, not revealing anything, not showing any interest to find out what this thing was.

I nod and shift, anxious to get in. For a brief moment, I contemplate shoving JT out of the way. I could easily take him. He came at me once with a bat and I had him on his back faster than he could articulate photosynthesis.

"Look," I say again, not that I have any hope of him seeing anything my way. Like I've previously pointed out, JT is not exactly my number one fan. "You don't have to deliver a message or hand him a note. I've already written a letter. I just need to put it on his bed."

"No!"

Anger boiling.

'_Deep and slow breaths, Catherine… relax… stay calm_…'

I exhale and change tactics, using my detective training. "Can I give you some advice, JT?"

"No!"

'_Big surprise_,' I smirk internally.

"I'm going to give you some anyway. You're a great friend to Vincent. Actually, you are more than that. You are a confidant, provider, and protector. If it hadn't been for you, he'd probably be dead," I butter and I mean every word. I am eternally grateful to JT for all that he has done for Vincent. "But… eventually you are going to have to get your own life and separate yourself from Vincent."

JT says nothing yet I can see a shift in his eyes. I have penetrated the wall. He is responding. My words are getting to him, whether he likes it or not.

I continue. "It's Friday night. What are your plans for tonight?" I know perfectly well the answer, yet I ask. He glares back, confirming without saying anything. "That's what I thought," I gloat, acting slightly childish. "You're going to sit at home and wait for Vincent. Then, the two of you will watch TV or play chess." More angry stares aimed at me. He even folds his arms across his chest as if his act will intimidate me and shut me up. "Why don't you go out?" I suggest cheerily. "Clean yourself up, shave, and dress in something nice. Go to a club… talk to some girls… have sex."

He blinks, shocked, and I smirk. This is not a conversation he was expecting. Next time, he'd better think twice before messing with a cop. JT may be a genius when it comes to chemistry but he is no match for a cunning and determined woman on a mission. I will see Vincent or at least deliver my letter. JT is a fool to believe himself able to stop me. When I want something… I go after it… full out… and I usually get it!

Easily, I finish him off. "How long has it been? As long as Vincent? Which makes it, what? 10 years… more? WOW! I would have exploded by now. How have you been able to go without for that long? You must be all bott…"

JT swings the door open and steps out of the way. "Stop! Enough!" He nearly yells, holding up his hands in protest. His eyes are wide with what could account for panic or madness. "Go. Drop off your letter. Just… no more."

I smile, widely and innocently, as I pass him. "That's all it takes?! Now, I know!"

JT mumbles something behind me as he closes the door but my focus has already shifted. I steer my feet up the stairs and to Vincent's loft. The area lays empty. Vincent is gone so JT wasn't lying to me. I'm glad in a way. Vincent is avoiding me, there is no doubt of that, but at least he isn't shunning me when I drop by for a visit. If he had been home, he would have met me at the door… wouldn't he?

So, we kissed. He was about to get found out. I had to calm the Beast. Why is he upset? Why won't he see me? It was just a kiss… nothing more… just a simple kiss… right?

I look down at one of his pillows. It's covered by a plain white cotton case. I imagine his head on it at night. Does he sleep on his stomach, back, or side? Has he been thinking of me and of that kiss… at night… while grasping this pillow… while laying undress in his bed?

I exhale slowly and there is a tremble, I notice. Looking down at the bed, I know that I can't resist. After a quick glance over my shoulder, making sure JT isn't watching, I pick up the pillow and bring it to my nose. His scent fills my nostrils and I close my eyes, imagining him here.

The truth is; the simple kiss wasn't so simple. At least, it wasn't for me. I had acted impulsively, desperate to protect him and terrified of losing him, and now it is too late to turn back. He is a part of me; in my head, my flesh, and my heart. These last days have been torture. I haven't slept well, had any appetite, been able to focus, or wanted to socialize. I've had these dreams, during the day and night, and they always star Vincent. Not knowing what is going on in his head is driving me crazy.

I put the pillow back down again. Inhaling his scent is only making it worse. I'm so confused. There are these feelings, no doubt of that, but I am not normally impulsive. I think everything out and come up with the best solution. Being with Vincent is not logical. It makes no sense. Yet, it feels so right. He feels so right. When his lips were on mine… I've never wanted anything or anyone more. Despite the danger, the men on the ground, Tess coming up behind us, and the Beast, everything else faded and it was just Vincent. I could have gone on forever. I could have gone further. I wanted to go further. I still do.

Shaking my head, my thoughts confounding me, I lay down on Vincent's bed. It is so unwise. If I was levelheaded, if I was my normal rational self, I would go and let Vincent make the next move. The letter puts it plainly. The letter explains how I feel, what I want, and what I am hoping for. Perhaps, that's just it. I am afraid to drop off the letter because it is definite and it will leave me exposed. I don't like being vulnerable. What if he rejects me? After all, I kissed him. Did he even respond?

I think back and panic rises as I realize that he never did. He went limp in my arms, he froze, and he never returned my kiss. He never wrapped his arms around me or held me closer. When I pulled away, he just stared at me, like he couldn't believe that I had kissed him. What did I read in his eyes; shock… disbelief… disapproval? He hesitated when I told him to go but he didn't say anything. Why didn't he say anything? And, now he won't see me, he won't answer the phone, he runs and hides when I approach…

My head is spinning. I shouldn't be in his bed. It is making it worse. It is going to make tonight worse, when I am alone, in my bed, and the fantasies start creating needs that won't be satisfied.

"What the hell," I curse frustrated. "It shouldn't be this complicated!"

"You're still here?!"

My eyes snap open and I shoot out of Vincent's bed. I had totally forgotten about JT.

"What were you doing?"

Not able to come up with a believable lie, I don't think JT would buy some story about low blood sugar, I decide to ignore his question. Gathering guts, I place the letter on the pillow and speed off before I change my mind. My legs feel oddly shaky and jelly-like as I take each step down the staircase. As I travel thru the door and thru the warehouse, my heart pounds with the pace of my rushing feet. I am excited, terrified, relieved, and terrified. What if I lose him because of the letter? Scare him off so I will never see him again? How do I go on without him? I've become so dependent on him. My whole life has adjusted itself around him.

Without glancing back, if I do I might change my mind and return in to retrieve the letter, I start up the car and rev off. Not wanting to go home, I drive to the office. Tess is gone but I just can't go home. I have to keep my mind preoccupied until he seeks me out with a reply. There are several unsolved cases to help me kill a few hours and by the time I get back in my car, it is past 11. Yawning, I happily note that I am exhausted. Hopefully, sleep will come easily and my night will be dream free. I just can't handle one more night of…

Out of nowhere, a grocery cart appears in front of my car and I slam on the brake. It is still not quick enough. The impact, metal against metal, causes the cart and its pusher to fall to the asphalt. Sure that I have killed the elderly lady, I rush out of the car with my cell phone ready to dial 911. Leaning over, I inspect her fast and see no blood.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"This is Detective Catherine Chandler, NYPD, precinct…"

That's all I get to say before something is slammed over my head and everything goes blurry. As the world begins to spin, from the blow and from the fingers curled around my neck, I think of Vincent and of how the Beast is going to tear my assailant to shreds.

'_You're dead, whoever you are_,' I think. '_Whoever you are, you're dead_!'

That's how sure I am that my Beast will come. He always does. He never fails me. He can't.


	4. You can't Protect a Heart that is No

Ok so I have to warn you. I like cliff hangers. Sorry. However, I am a fast writer so it is not so bad! If you like the story, please review. Thank you.

Hope you enjoy chapter 4, Birgitta

As usual, CW owns all rights to original story, story lines, and characters.

**4. You can't Protect a Heart that is No longer Yours!**

I pick up her lingering presence before I have even entered the warehouse. She's not still here for her car isn't parked outside. Yet, the idea of her causes a reaction throughout me. That kiss that we shared still haunts me and my body has been aching for more ever since. The desire for her is so great that I have not been able to face her. If I do, I don't know what might happen. I might reach for her, pull her to me, claim her, take her, and aim to make her mine.

"She was here!" I settle more than ask JT. I get ready to ask something more about Catherine when I realize. "Are you going out?"

A deep frown forms in between my eyebrows as I evaluate JT standing before me, clean shaved and dressed up. JT never goes out, unless working or grocery shopping. It's partially my fault that he has no social life. Ever since I involved JT, he has had to make many sacrifices. I will never be able to fully compensate him or thank him enough. He is a true friend; a bit annoying at times, but a true friend.

JT chuckles and looks down at himself, apparently as amazed. "Yeah, Catherine came by and suggested I'd go out and have sex."

I raise an eyebrow. "Catherine suggested you'd have sex?"

Using the two words in the same sentence, 'Catherine' and 'sex', instantly causes a buzz and images from countless fantasies overcome me. JT isn't the only one who hasn't had sex in a long time. The military experiment put a stop to all such interactions for me. The first few years were hard and I sometimes had to relieve the pressure. Then, the urges and needs grew further in between until they stopped all together. I got used to it; not being touched, not touching, not feeling, not loving…

Catherine has brought it all back, the needs of the man. At first, it was her Beauty. I was drawn to her because she was the kind of girl that I used to be attracted to, that I used to pursue. It had seemed unrealistic for me to even think that Catherine could ever… not with me as a Beast. It just was not possible. Yet, she kept coming back. She wouldn't stop trying to get closer to me. I was confused. What was it about? Just her mother or was there something else?

And now, there is the issue with the kiss. For a brief moment, all too brief, her lips were on mine. I could feel her body pressing, I could taste her kiss, and I could smell her nearness. No matter the Beast, no matter the wall I have erected, she has gotten to me. And, it scares me. It scares the hell out of me.

"So, you are taking her advice?" I manage to say, my voice shaky and effected. Looking down at my hands, I notice that they are shaking so I hurry to hide them behind my back. "Did she want anything else?"

I bow my head since I can't face JT's imposing stare. My eyes will deceive me and give me away. JT would laugh at me. Tell me it could never be. I am fully aware, all on my own, yet I don't want to hear it said out loud. I'm trying to protect my heart. Still, I fear it is too late. I left it unguarded, left myself vulnerable, and Catherine came in and stole it. My heart is hers now and, without meaning to do so, I fear that she will crush it. After all, who could ever love a Beast?

"What do you think she wanted?" JT snaps irritated, as usual because of the topic. From the very start, Catherine has invoked strong emotions in both of us. "She wanted you!" He says and my head snaps up. I try not rejoice in his use of wording but I fail. "She left you a letter, on your pillow. Actually, I caught her laying down in your bed."

'_Letter… on my pillow… laying down in my bed…_'

Forgetting about JT, I sprint up the stairs taking two steps at a time. A few feet from my bed, I halt and stare. I can envision the indent of her body. Slowly, I walk up and feel with my fingers. The comforter is still warm from her body heat, or perhaps I am simply imagining. Regardless, I want to lay down and submerge myself but I don't.

'_Protect your heart_,' I urge, even though it is too late. You can't protect a heart that is no longer yours.

I reach for the letter and weigh it in my hand. Such a small and seemingly insignificant item, yet its content may be enough to bring a Beast to its knees. I dare not open it. I dare not read it. I dare not face her revelation. I am certain that the letter contains just this; why she kissed me, what it meant to her, and what place I hold in her life. It's all in here, brutally spelled out.

No, I'd rather hide and remain in the dark than know for sure. Without certain knowledge, I can dream and make up an alternative reality. In this self-created world, I am a normal man, working at the hospital, Catherine is my loving wife, and our child is growing inside her womb. All is perfect. There is no Beast, no Muirfield, and no hiding out in warehouses and shadows.

I collapse to the floor, pull my knees to my chest, and crawl into a ball. Tears would come if I was prone to such emotional acts. The experiment took away all weaknesses. I can hurt and ache but I can't cry. It's another solid proof that I am a freak and a Beast. Bitter, I crush the letter to my chest and bring it close to my heart where I will keep it unopened. There is no point to read it. No good will come of it.

Yet, I can't desert her. I have to still protect her. I will always protect her. If anything was to happen to her, I might as well be dead. All purpose of living would seize with her death. She is my reason.

I venture downstairs to find JT gone. Silently, I wish him good luck in getting laid tonight. God knows we are both very over due and in need of some sexual release. Hopefully, his pursuit will prove more successful than mine. I aimed for the sun, for a Beauty, and just like with Icarus, I was burnt. My target was set too high. It wasn't realistic. It couldn't be.

I track Catherine through the city to her precinct station. She is working late. Watching her from a roof top across, I see that she looks tired and worn like she hasn't slept well for days. Neither have I. The guilt creeps in as I watch her because the blame is probably mine. I haven't picked up the phone, come by to see her, or let her see me. I've been avoiding her and this is the result. She does not love me but she does care for me as a friend and I have let her down.

It's well past 11 when Catherine finally logs off her computer and walks out of the station. I trace her for a bit until she is almost at home and then I head back in the opposite direction. She will go straight to bed and so should I. Tomorrow, I will read the letter and I will face her. I have to. Avoiding her will solve nothing and it will do neither of us any good. If anything, it only makes us both…

My sensitive ears pick up the sound of tires braking hard, a crash, and Catherine's voice filled with dread. There has been an accident. Catherine has been in an accident.

I shift course fluidly, spinning around on my heels, and dash off towards the crash with unnatural speed. My ears lock in on her location and then I hear it. It's my worst fear. It's what has me stalking her during most hours and going insane with worry when we are apart; Catherine is being attacked. First, I hear a metal bar smash against bone and Catherine's soft moan of pain. Then, I hear her begin to choke as if someone is strangling her. As if someone is squeezing the life out of her… her… Catherine… _my Catherine_…

The Beast explodes into existence as I am running and there is only one thing on its mind; **kill**!


	5. Why settle for Normal, when I can have y

Oops, I accidently uploaded chapter 6. Did any of you notice that managed to read it before I deleted it? LOL. I have several chapters going at the same time. Sorry.

Anyways, hope you enjoy the real chapter 5. If you do, let me know. That is, review, Please!

Birgitta

All rights belong to CW.

**5. Why settle for normal, when I can have you?!**

Even a mile out, I know I'm too late. I'm sprinting, running so fast that my lungs are aching. Yet, I am going to be too late. He is strangling her. His dirty rough hands are squeezed tightly around her perfect neck, choking the life out of her. It doesn't matter who he is, if he has a family, or that he is only following orders, he is dead! I will kill him!

I never slow down, not even when I grab a hold of her assaulter and slam him into a brick wall. Catherine is not conscious so she cannot stop me. In her present state, she cannot restrain the Beast which only she is capable of. There is a cut to her forehead, almost in the same spot as that night 9 year s ago. I have seen and smelled her blood. He has done this, injured her and caused her to bleed. He has hurt her and he will pay!

After the Beast part of me has taken out its fury and I have managed to calm down, I walk over to her. Her pulse is steady but the cut needs attending and all the way around her neck, evidence of the assault blotches red. It's where the bastard had his fingers upon her.

This is my fault. I never should have left her side. But, how was I to know? She had been nearly home. A few more blocks and she would have been home… safe. Muirfield knows where she lives, where she works, and they will keep coming at her until she is dead. I can't let that happen.

Catherine moans and not the kind of moan that I have fantasized about. Her pain and wound is my fault and it's up to me to care for her. I take great pride in the fact that I can help her and not only as a Beast, but also as a skilled man. I am a Doctor, able to heal her and make her better. She does not know this, I will never tell her, but she means everything to me. I love her. I think I have loved her for all these years, ever since I first saw her in the woods. That night I saved her, as I have many times after, as I will again and again for the rest of our lives. Protecting her has become my sole purpose. It has become my only reason for existing.

Carefully, I pick her up in my arms and carry her to her car. Her head falls against my shoulder, her brown soft hair tickling against my chin. I never want to set her down. If only I could hold her like this forever, with her warm body pressed against mine and her hot breath on my skin. I don't want this moment to end for I don't even dare to hope for anything more. She is a Beauty and I am a Beast. Such pairings belong in fairytales, not in real life. In real life, she will choose someone who can give her normal… someone who is normal. The letter still clutched at my heart will surely tell me just this.

I get behind her wheel, driving her to my place. Even though I know where she lives, her place is off limits to me. It is my forbidden and unobtainable Mecca. I want to get there more than anything, but it's an unachievable journey. Sure I've stepped inside but I have never sat down for a meal at her table or gotten myself comfortable on her couch. I am a Beast so I have no right to expect to be a part of her everyday life. In the shadows, in the darkness, is where I belong. Keeping her safe and alive is my responsibility. Helping her solve crimes and assisting her with finding her mother's killers is how I get to share in her life. But, I can expect no more. I will never be more. Her letter will surely tell me just this.

Her car smells like her. The interior is thick with her scent and I swallow hard in an effort to control myself. She has an effect on me, every little part of her: the way her brown eyes look into mine, the natural scent of her skin and hair, her sensual voice, and especially her touch. Like when she kissed me. She calmed the Beast, took away the anger, but what would more do? Would increasing desire and excitement have the same effect as anger? Not that it matters. It will never be. It was just a simple kiss to calm the Beast and to avoid detection because she's a friend and because she cares about me. I should read nothing more into it. The letter will surely…

"Vincent?"

I glance over and her eyes, her beautiful brown, are struggling to stay open. Pain crosses over her face and the Beast threatens to once again appear. But, the attacker is dead. There is nothing more the Beast can do. Now, it is my turn, the man, the doctor.

"It's alright, Catherine. I took care of him and once home, I'll take care of you."

I'm keeping it plain and to the point. If I add too much emotion, she may see through me and I can't risk that. She can never know how much she means to me.

"Him? I thought it was a woman," she says.

She's referring to the disguise of the Muirfield agent. Agents dressing as bag ladies; what's next? To what lengths to take us all out will they go? I'm not worried about me. It's her safety I fear for. Tonight's incident was too close of a call. I almost lost her.

"Vincent, I can't run from a crime scene," she says, asking indirectly for me to turn around.

I nod, understanding her dilemma and position, yet I cannot comply. "There have been too many circumstances, Catherine. One more involvement…"

There is no need to finish. Catherine is as clever as she is beautiful. She knows that her partners and coworkers are starting to wonder, especially him… Evan…

Agreeing and accepting, she leans her head back onto the seat. Her eye lids flutter close once again and my foot automatically pushes down a bit harder. I want to get there now. I want to take away her pain. I want to clean her wound and close it back up. I want to ensure that she will not have a permanent scar. I don't want her to be marked and ruined… like me.

The warehouse lays dark and empty when I pull up. JT is still out, trying to get lucky. Who knows when he might be back. He might not be back until the morning if he gets really lucky. So, we have the warehouse all to ourselves… just the two of us. This shouldn't please me. It is dangerous that is pleases me. I shouldn't be happy about being alone with her. Nothing will come of it, other than my own misery. I will tend to her, we will talk, and she will leave. Then, I will spend the next hours tossing in my bed foolishly dreaming of her. It's foolish because it can never be. She is a Beauty and I am a Beast and such pairing does not happen in real life.

When I open up her car door and I reach in to pick her up, her eyes open again. "I think I can walk, Vincent," she tells me but I shake my head.

Of course I am aware of the fact that she can walk, especially if she was to lean on me. She is in my arms because this is where I want her. The delicate weight of her pressing against my forearm, the feel of her arms wrapped around my neck, and her soft red lips just inches away from my burning flesh, this is what my mind will replay over and over again after she has left. This is what will keep me from going insane over longing for her. This is what will sustain me until next time we are together.

And, my mind will add to the actuality. It will add kisses, touches, undressing, words of affection whispered by her into my ear, moaning, moving, releasing… To imagine is both pleasurable and painful since it can never be. Yet, my mind is relentlessly cruel and loves to torture me.

Once up on my floor, I hurry to set her down on my bed and turn my back to her. Too many dreams are of her on that bed; undressed, wanting, pleading, loving… And, then I heard that she was laying down on my bed today. Why, I still do not know. I could ask her… yet I won't… just like I still haven't read her letter. I'm a military killing machine, a Beast, nonetheless a coward. Catherine's weakens me. She is my kryptonite.

Despite the forbidden thoughts raging wild inside my head, I try my hardest to keep my exterior unfazed and solid. Professional and task oriented, I grab my first aid kit and return to her. Looking at her, she seems perfectly comfortable on my bed, as if she belongs, as if there is no other place she'd rather be.

'_Is this why she was on my bed earlier?_'

Realizing how disillusioned I am being, I give my head a quick shake to clear it of unrealistic notions. It will never be. We will never be. The letter will clarify all.

"Here," I tell her and hold out two Advils as I sit down my stool. Thankful, she takes them with a deep swig of water. "Stay still," I urge and lean in.

With a steady hand, I clean her cut and close it up. It is not as bad as I first thought. There will be no scar. She will not be damaged like me. Not that it would have truly mattered. Catherine is a true Beauty and a small scar would not change that.

"Will I live?"

I look into her eyes and find them gleaming with humor. She must be feeling much better.

"Yeah, you'll live," I play along. She brings out the playful side of me, a side I thought was forever gone. "It was another close one, Catherine. You have to stop investigating them… please. Not just for me… for you… If anything was to happen to you, I'd…"

'_Shut up!'_ I urge myself in my head.

A spark flashes in her eyes as they narrow for an instant. The reaction to my words is sudden and barely noticeable but I catch it. My heart begins to race as I become aware of my blunder.

"You'd what?"

I shake my head, refusing, and reach for a bandage. Her eyes search my face for an answer, an explanation, as I cover the fresh stitches with the small patch. My gaze is locked on my task. I cannot face her probing gaze. It feels as if she can see right through me, read all my hidden desires. These desires must be kept a secret for she believes us to be only friends and partners. No one could ever love a Beast, especially a Beauty.

"Vincent," she finally says, when she comes to term that no reply is coming. I dare to look up just for a second before once again looking away. "Where have you been?" She asks and my heart speeds up with her direct confrontation. She deserves an answer, yet I do not answer. "Did you get my letter?" She inquires and I nod while I attend to her. I'm pretending to be busy. "Did you read it?"

"No!" I admit, because I have to, because I can't lie to her.

"Why not?"

Her voice has no vice, only sadness, perhaps disappointment and it tears at me to know that I am hurting her. I continue working for keeping my fingers occupied helps. She expects an answer . She expects and deserves the truth which is that I am a coward and I can't bear to read her dismissal. This I can't reveal. This I can convey. The only thing I have going for me is that I am a Beast and I can protect her. If she was to know that I am a coward…

"Things have changed… haven't they?"

This catches my attention and my eyes have to find hers. "Changed?"

Her smile is secretive, enticing, and seems only for me. "It used to be about you saving my life, my mother, and Muirfield. But now, things have changed and there is… more."

'_More?'_ My heart whispers with hope, yet my mind refuses to give in to such inconceivable fantasies.

Staying pragmatic and detached, guarding a heart that is no longer mine, I continue to act as her Doctor. "There," I say and run a finger carefully over the bandage to smooth it out. "That ought to…"

My sentence is cut short by lips against mine and everything freezes: time, the warehouse, my body, and my mind. Fingers come up to caress the lines of my cheekbones and the lips open slightly to allow a tongue to run free. She is kissing me. Catherine is kissing me and for no apparent reason. There is no Beast to calm and no people around to hide me from. She is kissing me because… because…

Coming to my senses, I break the kiss even though there is nothing that I want more. "Catherine, don't!" I urge her because I know that it is wrong.

She blinks, surprised and dazed. Her cheeks have a blush I notice and her heart is racing. A soft crooked smile causes one side of her mouth to tilt upwards. Fascinated, I study her lips, lips that were but a moment ago upon mine. My own lips still tingle from the experience and they want to experience it again… and again…. and again…

"Vincent," she says and a shiver travels down my spine for I love the way she says my name. She says it gently and patiently, without any anger or hurt. "I may not have super senses like you. I may not be able to hear if your heart rate has picked up or if your breathing has grown deeper. Still, I can tell that you want me."

I chuckle once in desperation. "Want you?" I frown and get ready to get up off of my stool, needing to get away from temptation. I am halted by her hands placed on my knees and I don't have the heart to push them aside. "Catherine, it isn't right. This is wrong and you know it."

"It felt right to me… just like last time," she whispers, her voice holding such hushed intimacy that I almost surrender and tip her backwards onto my bed. "You should have read the letter!"

She leans in once more, her lips ready, but somehow I am able to find the means to resist. "Catherine, don't! You deserve a normal life. You deserve normal."

"Normal?" She smiles, astonished and with soft laughter bubbling.

Her hand reaches up and runs across my scar. I can't resist leaning into her hand, enjoying her touch, enjoying her. She is my weakness. Even the Beast is powerless.

Her fingers run across my bottom lip, tracing its curve as she seizes my gaze. "And I thought you knew me, Vincent. Normal," she laughs. "Why would I settle for normal… when I can have you?!"

Her words make no sense. It must be the hit to her head. She doesn't know what she is saying. She is not thinking clearly. I must make her see reason.

Again protesting, I begin to plead. "Catherine, I…"

She presses her lips against mine before I can finishing, telling me that she doesn't want to hear it, that she's decided, that she wants me… me!

This time, the kiss is different. It is not careful and hesitant, it is passionate and demanding. She is claiming my lips with hers, taking me and possessing me with her mouth. Full of desire, as desperate for me as I am for her, she lifts off the bed and slides up into my lap. With each of her slender legs on either side of me, she sinks down and straddles me on the stool. While driving me mad with her ravaging lips, her fingers move into my hair to pull me to her even closer. Not able to resist any longer, not seeing the point of it, I grip her ass and pull her to me. My loins begin to pound with desire and the need for her rises to an almost painful level. She moans, telling me that she shares my need for release.

"Well, isn't this cozy?!"

Both of us seize the kiss simultaneously and look over at the intrusive figure looming in the shadows; JT is home... and alone. I guess, he didn't get so lucky tonight. In fact, a failed military experiment and Beast got more lucky.

Embarrassed and still reeling from the turn of events, I turn my attention back to a panting Catherine. She is still in my lap with her fingers in my hair and she hasn't moved an inch. The same thing goes for me with my fingers seemingly permanently molded around her backside.

When we don't move, JT clears his throat in an obvious sort of way and it is clear that he is not leaving. He is my friend and he wants the best for me. This, breaking Catherine and I apart before things get too heavy, is him trying to protect me. I appreciate his loyalty and his commitment, but right now… he is really pissing me off.

"JT, do you mind?" I ask, knowing that he will mind… a lot.

Catherine shifts, pulling away and my hands are forced to let go. "It's ok. I'll go."

Every part of me is screaming in protest on the inside, yet…"Ok."

Just as she is taking a step away from me, walking away from me, she surprises me by placing one last kiss on my lips. It is soft, quick, and simple. Nonetheless, it signifies everything. She is letting me know that what just happened between us is more than just a onetime heat of the moment incident. This is only the beginning. Much more is to come.

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

Before I have a chance to answer, she grabs her jacket and head towards the exit. There is no need for an answer for she knows that I will always be there; watching and guarding her. In fact, I'll be following her in the shadows all the way home. It was so close tonight. I'm not taking a chance again.

She beams a grin at JT as she passes and walks out. JT sets in on me the minute she is outside hearing range, lecturing about the dangers.

Uninterested, way past the point of reasoning, I stand up and argue my case. "Get real, JT. If you had a woman like Catherine in you life, would you push her away?"

JT stares back and then throws his hands in the air with a grunt. I watch him descend the stairs, muttering to himself as he takes each step. Catherine was right; JT needs to get laid… badly. It would most likely cure his grumpiness and cup-half-empty view. Maybe Catherine has a friend.

Outside, a car engine comes to life and all thoughts of JT are gone. From the dirty warehouse window, I watch as she sits perfectly still in her vehicle. She is not moving. She is holding and waiting so I do too. I won't take off until she has. From the shadows, I will trail her and this time all the way to her door.

Then, just as her foot presses down on the gas and her car takes off, she speaks. Her words travel through metal and stone to my ears. She has spoken because she knows I'll be able to hear; no matter the distance, the obstructions, the car engine, the wind…

I touch my hand to my chest as her request reaches me. "Read the letter, Vincent!"


	6. Guardian Beast

Here is Chapter 6 once again LOL. Some of you already got to read it when I accidently posted it prematurely.

Please take the time to review. Review means the world to me, truly. **If you like the story and want to read more, review!** It could be something as simple as "Good job" or "I liked it". Thanks.

Enjoy, Birgitta

I own nothing. All rights to story, characters etc belong to CW

**6. Guardian Beast.**

On my way home to my flat, my mind keeps rushing and spinning from what just took place. Breathing, the most natural of physical acts, feels like a struggle and my chest has an odd heaviness to it. All these emotions are coming at me: joy, excitement, anxiety, impatience…

I nearly pull over and turn around several times; going back to Vincent, back to his arms, and back to his bed. If JT hadn't walked in, I don't know what might have happened. I laugh, loudly and hysterically like a madwoman, when I catch myself lying. I know exactly what would have happened. Neither of us would have been able to control ourselves and right now… right now, I would be making love to Vincent.

My thoughts cause a tingle and a buzz in the very spot that aches the most. "Damn, JT," I curse out loud. "Annoying nosy meddling… faithful."

I can't be angry with JT anymore than Vincent can. JT is trustworthy and goodhearted. All these years, he has sheltered Vincent. If it wasn't for JT's overprotective nature, Vincent might be have been found by Muirfield and he probably would be dead.

"_Dead…"_ my mind echoes and I go instantly cold. Vincent dead is a notion I don't even want to brush up against. Vincent has become my everyday constant. He is my friend, my ally, my partner, my confidant, my protector, my… lover. Without Vincent, I would be lost, alone, and unsheltered. Sure, I have my sister, my dad, friends, and colleagues but Vincent is… he is Vincent… he is _my_ Vincent.

I don't think he understands this, all the roles he fills. I don't think that he grips how much he means to me. This is why he objected at first tonight. If only he would have read the darn letter. The letter spelled it out perfectly. Once he reads the letter, there should be no doubt in his mind.

Although, I suppose I can't blame him for he did start out as a project. He was someone to study and help. But, this is who I am. I am a detective and it is not a 9-5 job. It's a calling, a passion, and a mission. I guess it has to do with my mom. When my mom died, I swore I would do my outmost to protect others from experiencing the same hurt and to bring justice to as many as I could. The night my mom was killed, I was saved by someone or something, and I wanted to pay that forward. Not knowing better, I had called my savior a Beast in the press. And yes, Vincent is a Beast but he is also so much more… especially to me.

"Hi," someone says and I jump, startled at the sound of a soft voice greeting me. A giggle escapes from my sweet little sister as she eyes me with a deep frown. "Why are you so jumpy? Are you alright?" Heather asks concerned and I exhale slowly, getting myself prepared. Eyes widening tells me that she has seen and comprehends. "Your forehead and your neck… what happened? Another work injury?"

I walk up to her and give her a hug, reassuring her that all is well. "Don't worry. I'm fine. You should see the guy who jumped me."

My words remind of my assailant. I still don't know what Vincent did to him. I'm assuming he is dead. In Beast mode, Vincent is upstoppable and ruthless… especially if the person has caused me harm. This shouldn't please me, it shouldn't bring a smile to my face, because I am a cop and my duty is to protect. Yet, I suppose that is exactly what Vincent did; he protected me… like he always does… and I can't be mad at him for that. Besides, the guy was trying to kill me!

I beam at my sister, thoughts of Vincent has that effect on me, as I continue to reassure her. "You don't need to worry because… I sort of have a Guardian Beast."

My sister raises an eyebrow high, making her smooth forehead wrinkle. "Beast?" She questions and then laughs. "Don't you mean Guardian _Angel_?"

"Yes. Angel. Sorry. Must be the blow," I dismiss my choice of words and touch my hand to my bandage.

But, my words were not a miss-say. I have a Beast for a Guardian Angel. I have a Guardian Beast. Who can say that, other than me?

No matter my sister's laughter, I need to watch it. I am revealing something I really should not. Vincent's existence is a secret I have been entrusted with, to JT's irritation, and I don't take this confidence lightly. I have seen and felt what Muirfield are capable of. They are killers and they would do horrible things to Vincent if they were ever to find him. I can't let them find him. Still, I do want my sister to know. With every passing day, Vincent is claiming a bigger part of my life so eventually, the two of them will have to meet. JT will object, of course.

"So, who is it? This Guardian?"My sister pries, notoriously curious.

Slow shake of the head, knowing that I must have Vincent's permission. "I can't really talk about him."

"Him?" My sister giggles, insinuatingly, like a young girl would. Perhaps, there is something in my voice or in my expression that is giving me away. "Why not? Is he under witness protection or something like that?"

My sister has just given me a great escape hatch and I jump through it with gratitude. "Yeah, something like that," I agree as I retrieve a bottle of water from the fridge. Wanting and needing to be alone with my thoughts, I yawn, pretending to be exhausted. "Hey, I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. Tomorrow, sushi is on me. Deal?"

My sister gives me no grief and I sneak off. Once in the shower, the hot water feels great against my skin. Without moving, I stand under the hot rain and let the steam enclose me. I let my eyelids drop and images of the two of us come at me. When it all changed, I do not know. Perhaps it was a slow process; one save, one smile, one accidental touch… Or perhaps, it was overnight where one day all I saw him as was a friend and the next day just the sight of him caused me to burn. Cause that is what it is like now, just the thought of him quickens my pulse and the need sets in. It doesn't help that I haven't had sex in months, not since Mr. Doucebag.

Even though I don't want to, I turn off the water. Tomorrow won't come fast enough unless I go to sleep. And, tomorrow I will get to see him. This, I am certain of. There was no need to wait for an answer. Vincent is always there, watching and guarding from the shadows. I love his stalking, it makes me feel safe, but I hate that he has to hide. Muirfield is to blame. They experimented on him and if they were to find out that he is still alive, they will try to eliminate him. Everyone who knows of Vincent and the experiment is in danger. This is why my mother was killed 9 years ago. I don't have all the details, but I know that much and this is why my life is at risk as well.

Sleep proves to be hard to come by. The pillow feels too lumpy, the air too stuffy, the night too full of noises, and my head too full of thoughts, fantasizes, and images. How could I have thought that I would just fall asleep? The plain truth is that my body is no longer mine. It is Vincent's. He governs it, whether close or far. Whatever he wants and needs, I'll give it to him.

'_Go to sleep, Catherine. Maybe tomorrow… hopefully tomorrow… read the letter, Vincent… read…'_

My thoughts blur into one as my eyelids drops and slumber finally comes. I drift into a dream world where a Beast saves my life and a gorgeous Doctor patches me up. What girl, other than me, can say that their real life is just like their most wonderful dream?

I fall asleep completely unaware that right outside my window, my Guarding Beast sits alert and shielding. On the fire escape, Vincent has perched himself with my letter in one hand. He is ready to read, ready to face his fear, and ready to finally know.


	7. Just read the Damn letter, Vincent!

This one was hard to write. I had gotten you so amped up about the letter so I didn't want to disappoint. What do we think? Do we like or not? Review, please.

Next chapter, Cat's POV "Talking is for the Daytime" is almost done.

Thanks, Birgitta

I own nothing. All rights to story, characters etc belong to CW

**7. Just read the Damn letter, Vincent!**

I'm right outside her window, listening to her steady breaths. It took her awhile. There was a lot of tossing and turning, but she is finally asleep. I knew that she was tired, exhausted, so she should have been able to go to sleep right away. Were her thoughts on me, on our moment, and that's why she struggled?

I bow my head and lean it into my hands. The letter crumbles under my one palm and from the paper I can smell a soft trace of Catherine.

Catherine; how she advanced on me tonight. And, not a subtle kiss like at first or like when she calmed the Beast. Oh no, this was full on seduction. Her legs, fingers, and mouth, they all took me hostage with a need that still has me spinning. She came at me like… like… like she was full of desire… for me.

I rise off the fire escape rapidly, the letter hanging in my right hand's grip. My legs need to move around. I think better when in movement. And, think I must.

'_Read the letter!'_

'_No, not yet.'_

'_Although, I should for all would be clarified and my insanity healed.'_

'_No, I can't.'_

I am arguing with myself internally, going mad. There is no doubt that I have totally lost it. All these years hiding out in a warehouse, changing into a Beast, and roaming the streets in the shadows is not what has made me lose it. Catherine has made me crazy, in a good way, but still crazy!

At the right corner of her bedroom window, I sink down so that I can see her. It's not the first and won't be the last time that I watch her sleep. I know, it's creepy, but it gives me peace to see that she is safe… and… I like it. I like watching how her hair spreads across her pillow, how her chest heaves with each inhale, and how her lips move and pucker while dreaming. Her bed looks so soft, warm, and inviting. Actually, I know that it is. I have felt it. Felt the comforter with my fingertips as I stopped by for a quick visit. But I never dared anything more. I wasn't brave like Catherine and laid down in it. I didn't…

'_Why did she lay down in my bed?_' I ask myself again for… What? The 100th time? It is the never ending and constantly reoccurring question. The letter might explain it.

I look down at the letter and exhale. This is it! I have to know. For strength and resolve, I offer once last glance at my sleeping Beauty before focusing on the note.

It's just a plain A4 paper, probably from her at home printer. She has folded it in half for privacy, although JT might still have read it. On the front, it reads my name written in perfected cursive. Her handwriting is beautiful, not like mine which is the typical Physician chicken scratch.

Just then, she mumbles my name in her sleep. It is as if she knows somehow, subconsciously, that I am here and I am getting ready to read. She urged me to, knowing that it will clarify all and set us on the right path. But what is this path? What if…

"Just read the damn letter, Vincent, and quit stallin_,_" I grumble, into the night, irritated at my own hesitancy.

I unfold the letter, and my eyes dash across the words and I finally read:

_**Vincent**_

_How are you?_

_I have to ask because I have not seen you. We had a deal, remember? Not more than a week is supposed to pass without you reaching out to say that you are alive. And yet, here we are._

_I have no doubt that you are watching me, watching over me, so you know that I am fine. I would like to know the same. If you are staying away because of what happened, there is no need. I will never judge you, scold you, betray you, or abandon you. You are a part of me, a part of my life, and I wouldn't have it any other way._

_I didn't want to do this by letter but you have left me no choice. So many things have happened between us which has tested our friendship and brought us closer, making us more than friends. You feel that, don't you?_

_The kiss that we shared was just that; a kiss, between two people who care about each other. It wasn't to calm the Beast and protect you. I kissed you because I wanted to, because I've been wanting to, and for quite some time now. You, who are so perceptive and whose senses are more advanced than anyone else's, how have you not been able to tell?_

_I get obsessed easily with things and cases, it's why I'm a detective, but I've never been obsessed with a person… not until I met you. You occupy every thought throughout the day and every dream throughout the night. You are the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last as I fall asleep. If I could, I would stalk you so that I could always be near you. It drives me insane not to see you, not to hear your voice, or to feel your presence. You are torturing me by not showing yourself or picking up the phone. Can you understand that?_

_Nine years ago, I looked into your eyes for the first time and there was a connection. All those years, I could feel you. I didn't know you existed but I could still feel you. Then, I saw your picture and I was certain that I had seen you before, at some time and place. And, from the moment when we met again, when you stepped out of the shadows of the warehouse, I have never wanted to be apart from you. You kept telling me to stay away, urging me to be reasonable, and think of the risks. All of that didn't matter. For you, I have lied, broken laws, and fought for my life. Yet, it is all worth it. _

_But I want more._

_To be with you, I have lived by and accepted your rules. It has always been on your terms. Not anymore! I will have you. There is nothing you can do about it. Not even the Beast can stop me. Sooner or later, I will find you and then, you're mine!__ And, the things that I have planned for us would make even the Beast blush._

_Catherine_

I am frozen, literally it seems. My eyes are glued on the letter, on her words, as I desperately try to process what I have just read. To ensure, I read it again, then again, and then again.

I lower the letter and look through the window at her. She sleeps peacefully, unaware of my presence and my struggle. She wants me. It's here, in black and white on paper. All the insecurities and fears over her not wanting me should have begun to fade by now. Sensations of elevation should be filling me. I ought to feel taller, stronger, and more powerful than ever because she wants me. So, why don't I?

I catch my reflection in the window and I see myself. What she sees when she looks at me, I do not know. Perhaps she has some divine ability to see past all the scars and damage, but I can't hide from it. My past, things I have done and things done to me, still haunts me and it will haunt whoever is foolish enough to be with me.

'…_be with me_,' my heart whispers back and my own foolishness returns.

I am weak around Catherine. Logic and reasoning fails around her. I should have ran, ran from her the very moment she found out about me. I never should have involved her, kept reaching out for her, and pulled her into my life. Yet, I did because I want her badly and I can never let her go.

I pull up at my sleeve and my wrist watch confirms; it's become tomorrow. Even though I know it is wrong and once it's done there is no turning back, my right hand reaches out and knocks gently on her window. As I watch her begin to stir, my heart beats in my chest and my mind still advises me to run. Yet, my muscles won't obey. There is only one place they want to go and that is to where she is.

Her hand reaches for her lamp on the table next to her and the bedroom lights up. "Vincent?" She says, her eyes still adjusting to the brightness "Is that you?"

She rises out of her bed, only dressed in a tiny camisole and boxer shorts. I can clearly see every curve and her erected nipples as she approaches. As I watch her, my mind recalls her words in her letter; '_I will have you. There is nothing you can do about it. Not even the Beast can stop me. Sooner or later, I will find you and then, you're mine!__ And, the things that I have planned for us would make even the Beast blush.'_

She is warning me of her plans of seduction where she aims to make me submit to her desires. I swallow hard as my body responds, becoming tight and hard, and my plan to only talk evaporates.

**To be continued with Cat's POV "Talking is for the Daytime."**


	8. Talking is for the Daytime

I loved writing this chapter. I hope you'll enjoy reading it.

Like it –review PLEASE, Birgitta

I own nothing. All rights to story, characters etc belong to CW

**8. Talking is for the Daytime ****–Catherine POV****.**

There is a soft tap on my window and I raise my head off the pillow to look into the darkened room. Not able to see a thing, I reach for my side lamp. The room lights up and I can see a figure sitting on the ledge outside my window.

There is no dread for I'd recognize his physique anywhere, still I ask. "Vincent? Is that you?"

Everything about him screams reluctance, even his voice when he speaks. "I had to see you. It is tomorrow, isn't it?"

I glance over at my clock radio; 12:00. "It's exactly tomorrow."

My heart has begun to pound so quickly and loudly that I can hardly hear. Breathing is once again struggled and I know that he must hear it. Does it please him how much I want him … Or, does it scare him?

"Did you read my letter?"

"Yes," he answers after a brief moment of contemplating.

'_He knows. He's here. He's mine.'_

Yet, I can see his indecisiveness.

"Do you want to come in?" I ask, desperate to have him inside before he changes his mind and flees.

Instead of answering, he begins to apologize. "I'm sorry I woke you up. Especially, since it took you awhile to fall asleep."

He is not asking, but stating known facts. "How long have you been out there? Have you been watching me sleep?"

Of course, I am not asking out of anger. Vincent looks over me. He is my Guardian Beast and I love having him close. In fact, I want him closer. If he truly read my letter, he should know that now. Is that why he is here; to submit and surrender himself to me? If it is so, the things I will do to that body of his…

Getting myself excited, I shiver as he speaks and as I watch his lips move. These are lips that I have claimed with mine and plan on claiming again. I can't wait to see what other things his lips can do.

"I've been out here since you got home, Catherine," he reveals and then begins to tell me how the attack earlier tonight had him worrying for my safety.

As he speaks, I have to force my mind to concentrate on his words. It's hard because the only sounds I want to hear him make are moans. If he truly worries for my safety, he should be climbing in through my window to give me some relief before I combust.

Sitting across the glass, teasing me, he continues without showing any awareness of my accelerating excitement. "I left the warehouse right after you did. I had to make sure you got home safe."

Vincent can move fast, faster than my car can legally drive thru town. Vincent's five senses are more advanced than any other creature on earth. He is advanced, unique, special, and I don't think he realizes this. To him, he is an abomination and not worthy of me. For me, it is just the opposite. I don't feel worthy of him. After all… what's special about me?!

"And then, I read your letter."

With his confession, our eyes lock. My letter was very precise on my wishes for our future. Vincent is now fully aware that I want us to be more, that I want us to be lovers. He hasn't told me his reply, if he wishes the same. But then again, he is here and it's in the middle of the night. What else is there to do at midnight?

Finally, he moves and my libido does a joyful summersault. Standing back, I appreciatively watch as he effortlessly lifts up my stubbornly heavy window and climbs inside. Vincent moves gracefully and liquid despite being build like a powerful predator. I hate Muirfield for what they did but I can't help to appreciate the result.

I advance on him the instant he is inside my bedroom, my fingertips aiming for his partially exposed chest. "Catherine, I'm here to talk," he hurries to say, to stop me, and holds up a hand.

He takes several steps backwards, all the way till his back is up against my wall. Only I can make a Beast retreat. Only I can make him nervous and almost fearful. A chuckle slips out as I watch him, this muscle mountain, recoil from petite little me. He, who can take on a dozen of agents from Muirfield at a time, is retreating because of my advances.

"Are you laughing at me?" He asks, his eyes narrowing.

"Yes, but out of frustration."

I sigh and pull a hand through my loose hair, making it fall in waves around me, the way he likes it. I really do not want to talk, not at all. I can't believe he wants to after what just happened between us. I am still on fire and him standing in front of me, looking hot and sexy like always, is only increasing the heat wave.

"Vincent, it's in the middle of the night, you are in my bedroom, you have read my letter, and I am practically naked. Not to mention…" I hold for effect just to see him squirm. "… talking is for the daytime."

I walk up to him, where he stands pressed up against the wall, emphasizing every move. My sway has an effect on him. I can tell and it fuels me. It encourages me. Up on my tip toes I lift, slowly dragging my fingernails up his chest, and attempt to kiss him. Attempt is the correct word…

Moving with grace and speed, he maneuvers around me and escapes to the opposite side of the room. My fingers are grasping at thin air. Not what they were hoping and longing for. I take a few seconds to collect myself, to steady my pulse, before I rotate and face him.

"Vincent, what…"

"Catherine, I…" he aches.

I can see the anguish in him. He is not teasing me or playing games. This is serious and I stop all my pursuit to listen. It is what he needs.

A poor attempt of a smile and then he finally tells me what is holding him back. "Catherine … I haven't been with anyone since… since _this_," he says and gestures at himself.

He is referring to the experiment. I had figured that he had not been with a woman since before he left for Afghanistan. Once there, he willingly allowed them to tamper with his DNA. He didn't know what he was getting himself into. He didn't ask any questions. He should have, for he has never been the same again; not on the inside or on the outside.

"And, you are worried how the new you will impact… _this_," I say with understanding while pointing to him and me.

He laughs once, humorless. "That's putting it lightly. Honestly, Catherine, I'm terrified. I don't know what is going to happen. The Beast comes out when I get angry or excited… when my pulse quickens and you quicken it."

It's a compliment which both pleases and distresses me. This is why Vincent keeps pulling away and keeping me away from him. I want him close, near, and to be mine in every aspect. For that to happen, the worry has to be eliminated.

"Vincent, you are not the only one worried," I reveal, because it is what he needs to hear. He needs to hear that I understand and that I can relate. "Believe it or not, you are the first military experiment I have ever been with," I wink and I actually receive a genuine laugh.

Feeling more relaxed, he sits down on my bed. It's a beautiful sight but I keep my distance. Beast, all powerful, and with looks to slay women, I have to give him the time he needs. He is like a scared puppy, unsure and timid. It's a struggle to remain standing just looking him over as he makes him more comfortable, yet I bite my inside lip and fight through the urge.

"Worried how? Tell me?" He asks, wanting me to share as he has.

Still undecided on exactly how much I should reveal since some of it is kind of embarrassing, I start telling him what has been on my mind for awhile. "I'm not worried about the Beast, let him come out and play if he wants to. And, I am not worried about your strength. I know you won't hurt me, neither as Beast or man. And, you know so too or you wouldn't be here with me."

He had planned to interrupt and object but he quickly quiets as my words sink in. If it wasn't for the Beast, I would be dead a long time ago. The Beast protects and saves me. It would never harm me. We both know this.

Yet, there is the issue of… "It's your heightened senses that sometimes worry me," I admit and he raises an eyebrow with interest. "I can't help to wonder if…"

"Tell me!" He urges, leaning forward towards me, wanting to know it all.

I'd rather not tell him but Vincent has a way of spellbinding me with his eyes and voice. "…if you can hear my stomach growling when I am hungry… if you can smell on my breath what I had for breakfast… if I am using too much deodorant or not enough deodorant…"

I stop to read his reaction and it is wide eyed fascination. He is really getting into this sharing. To him, it's like foreplay and the idea fills me with excitement. We are getting closer.

Eager to get my hands on him, to join him on my bed, I hurry to continue. "… if you can see the pimple that is growing and I won't… I won't go to the bathroom with you nearby just in case…"

"I am listening?" He fills in with a grin, his mood much lighter. I nod and he laughs, louder than he should since my sister is sleeping just down the hall. "Wow! I guess I am not the only one worried. First, I would never listen in your bathroom trip. That would be rude and I would never treat you in such a way. Second, I love the sound your stomach makes when hungry. It makes me wish I could take you out on a date. Sit down at a nice restaurant and spoil you… or, at least, cook a meal for you. I am pretty good cook. With JT, I've had to learn. His idea of cooking is pulling the plastic wrapper off a HungryMan. Second, pimple or not, you are perfect and so is your breath and your scent. Your scent is how I track you, find you, even when you are miles away. It is distinctly you and I love it."

I am now the fascinated one. "What does it smell like, my scent?"

He smiles and I melt even further; basically turning into a wet puddle on the floor. "It can't be described. It's a combination of everything that you are, that you do, the people you interact with, and your preferences. Lately, it's changed, just a tad."

"Changed? How? Why?"

A secretive smile and for an instance I think he won't tell me. "Your sister moved in. Your scent now has a bit of her scent in it. She's a permanent part of you," he says and his words hit my very heart. My whole face lights up and he studies me pleased. "You like the idea of this?"

"I do," I tell him.

"There is a little bit of you in her scent as well. It's how I'm able to find her."

I frown, totally caught off guard by his disclosure. "What do you mean? Find her? Have you been tracking her?"

His face loses the smile and he turns severe. "Whenever I know that you are safe, at the office or with your partner, I search her out."

"Why?" I ask even though I can guess the reason because I want to hear him say it.

Holding my gaze, he speaks the words I had hoped for. "… because I never want you to lose another loved one again."

I stare at him, unable to answer. Just when I think he can't become even more amazing, he says or does something that smashes that belief. He shifts, uneasy by my silence, misjudging it.

"Are you upset with me?" He wonders, completely reading me wrong despite his super senses.

I walk up and kneel in front of him, not capable of giving him space any longer. "No," I tell him and I can clearly see him exhaling with relief. I place my hands on his knees and even though he jerks slightly, he doesn't pull away. "It's just the opposite. You are amazing, in every way."

I lean in to kiss him, but yet again he stops me. "Catherine, I don't have a job."

Not expecting that at all, I retract and sit back on me heels in front of him. "Ok," I answer, not sure how to properly react and curious where he is going with this.

'Seriously, can't we just have sex before I explode?'

"I don't have a job and there are no future job possibilities for me, so basically I am permanently unemployed." He waits to see if I will object but I stay quiet. Apparently, he needs to get this out before we can become more. "I live with a roommate who is the sole person on the lease and who pays all the bills which means I can be considered homeless. I have no savings, no property, nothing."

I know all this. He knows I know all this. Yet, it needs to be said out loud and cleared. I wrote the letter and confessed my worries. Now, it is his turn and I hope to God that this is it, because I can't hold off for much longer. Having him so close, in my room and on my bed… oh the possibilities are making my head spin.

"I was the subject in a military experiment which has left me damaged on the inside and on the inside. And, every time I get angry and pulse race, I turn into a Beast; a Beast that could possibly harm you."

I could object, perhaps I should, yet I don't.

"These people, who did this to me, are looking for me and they will kill anyone who knows of me. Just being around me is dangerous, because of the Beast and because of Muirfield. So, I am not much of a catch, am I?"

I wait to ensure that he is done and then I take my time to respond. When I do, it is not the way he had expected me to. No more of this, I have decided. I care about him and I care about his feeling, but enough. I am horny and it is diminishing my patience and affecting my temper.

"Are you proposing?" I ask seriously and get up on my knees again so our eyes are almost on the same level.

Deep crevice in between his eyebrows, reminding me of the Beast, and making me even more excited. "No!" He exclaims feverously. His breathing has picked up and he is nearly panting. "Just the opposite. I am telling you that there is no future with me."

"So you are not proposing," I smile seductively and slide up in between his knees so I can get closer. He frowns at me, looking more worried than he would in a dark alley with a handful of Muirfield agents. "Ok, so since we are not walking down the aisle any time soon, can we hold off the future talk and just focus on this?" I say and place a soft kiss on his neck. He doesn't object or pull away. "… and this… and this… and this…" I continue as I trail kisses up to his mouth.

Without waiting for him, I roughly remove his shirts so that his chest is bare and available. My fingers finally get to explore and I revel at the feel of his skin under my tips. Ripped of all patience and control, I push him back onto the bed and begin to carry out the seduction I had warned him of in the letter. After all, talking is for the daytime!

**What do you think, is this story complete or should I write more?**

**Review and let me know. Thanks, B**


	9. Tell Me! Show Me! Part 1

Sorry for the part 1 part 2 stuff but I want to post and I don't like too long chapters.

So here is the foreplay. Hope you like it.

Review and I'll write part 2 faster. I fuel on reviews, no lie!

Thanks Birgitta

All rights belong to CW

**9. Tell Me! Show Me! – ****Vincent POV Part 1**

'_I never should have sat down on her bed, at least not until I was ready… not that I know if I will ever be ready.'_

I'm in her bedroom, on her bed, and Catherine's hands and lips seem to be everywhere. She is touching every inch of me, setting me on fire and accelerating my pulse. I am equal excitement and terror. What if the Beast comes out, claws razor sharp and fangs deadly? What if I hurt her, while as Beast on accident? I turn into a Beast and not a raging lunatic so I don't think I would, but think isn't good enough. Not when it comes to Catherine. Satisfying my sexual desire is not worth risking her safety… her life.

Her fingers come up under my shirt and pull at it, wanting my skin bare. She aims to have me naked. And once I am her clothes will fall next, one garment at a time, exposing her perfect skin and making it available to me. She will let me do whatever I want with her. Her body is mine to touch, kiss, and claim. The two of us together, entwined and linked, sweaty and moaning, thrusting and grinding…

I swallow hard, feeling my membrane grow, and my need for her reaching an uncontrollable level. Soon, there will be no turning back, no ability to protest, no strength left, and no sense of reasoning.

'_Do I really want to stop her, leave this bed, and walk away?'_

My shirt comes off and her fingers dive down for my zipper. She is on her knees in front of me. I can see down the cleavage of her night top. I can see her breasts, her nipples, and I want nothing more than to touch them. This is what I have been fantasizing about, longing for. I have dreamt of her wanting me, of her fingers pulling at my clothes, and of her mouth running amok across my skin. If I was to walk away now, I would regret it for the rest of my life. I would curse myself and my stupidity. Still…

My pulse beats, faster and harder, making my heart thump against my chest cavity and I fear what might be coming. "Catherine, slow down, please. I need time to…"

"Time?" Catherine repeats and looks up astonished. Her fingers leave my zipper and the loss of her touch is felt instantly. "Slow down? Vincent, I've been moving so slow that sometimes I've been going in reverse."

She stands up, towering over me, and I can't nearly breathe. Anxiously, I glance up at her under my lashes. There is such determination in her posture, dominance and authority. I know what she is saying with her stance and her expression… I'm hers… she's in charge… I have no saying in anything.

Her lips curve into a sly smile that could come off as evil if I did not know her heart. She is as far from evil as she is ugly. Yet, she does scare me for I do not know to what heights she intend to take me and how it will affect my physical self. If I had met her before the experiment, or if the experiment had never taken place, there would have been no fear or hesitation. The old Vincent Keller knew how to be with a woman, give her pleasure, and have her begging for more. Before Afghanistan, I would have undressed her, settled her back onto her pillows, and made love to her slowly for hours. But that was then…

She gives me a push with her right hand and I fall back onto her bed. I could have fought it easily, held against using my core muscles, but my body listens more to her commands than my own. It wants to please her, no matter the demand, no matter the risks. My head is what is protesting, not my flesh. My mind is what is telling my body to stop, to be cautious, and to think of the danger… but my body doesn't wants to listen… it just wants… her.

"My bedroom… my bed… my rules," she clearly articulates, leaving no doubt regarding my inferior position.

A tremble moves through me as she lets her gaze run over me. She is debating on where to start, what to do first. Not that it matters. Where ever and whatever… I am already on fire and just the simplest of touch threatens to set me off. She bends down, her hair tickling at my abs, and undoes my belt buckle. Her eyes never leave mine and I feel spell bind. At this moment, no matter the request, I would fulfill it. Every part of me belongs to her… every part of me is screaming for her.

As if aware of my torture, my agony, she removes my jeans while letting her finger nails rasp at my legs. She is teasing me, tormenting me. Perhaps it's because I have kept her waiting and stopped her several times. This is now my punishment. She intends to drag it out. I did ask for time and for her to slow down… how was I to know how painful that request would prove if granted?

She leans over me, her hair tickling as it falls, her slender yet strong arms supporting on either side of me. I can feel her breath against my abs and they tighten into perfect packs. It's not just to impress her. Having her so close, her mouth so close to my organ, is sweet suffering. Wanting to get free, wanting her, and wanting to get inside of her, my erection pushes up against the fabric of my boxers.

She descends her lips and places a feather brush kiss just above the lining of my black cotton boxers. "What does it feel like?" She asks and looks up, her head still lowered and achingly near. I close my eyes, unable to answer and comply. "Tell me. I want to know. What does it feel like, when I touch you?"

Her lips come down once again but this time they hover just above my skin. They hang there, prolonging the sensation, building the tension, and causing my abs to scream with fatigue. Hot breath heat up my already enflamed skin before those teasing lips make contact. Not able to control my body, it is no longer listening to me, I give a moan and arch my hips towards her. Kisses trail up and she comes up on the bed, joining me, spreading her legs to enclose me.

Her center touches my erection, on purpose or by accident (not that it matters) and I verbalize my desire. "Oh my God".

I can feel her smile as she kisses my chest. "Tell me," she asks again, whispering, barely audible.

All senses concentrated on her and on her seduction, I flinch as a wet tongue encircles my right nipple. She giggles and I bite my inner lip, holding it together, using every ounce of will power. I can't come, not yet. I can't change into Beast, not here and now. If we are to make love, I want to do it as man… as Vincent Keller… what's left of him.

"I…" I struggle, as she continues to entice with her lips, tongue, and hands. Her center is right above my erection, making it even harder to concentrate on forming sentences, words, and even a thought. "I... I can't… not now… not while you are… ask me later… after."

"After," she murmurs and one of her hand moves, gripping my entire hard length, and the sensation is so excruciating that death would be a blessing.

'_How long will she make me suffer? Why did I ask her to slow down? What the hell was I thinking?'_

"So, you are ready? You have decided?" I nod while my heart is pounding to the beat of my desire. "Do you want me?" I nod again, eagerly, wanting her so badly that it hurts. Liking my answer, she sits up with her center against my hardness, and then she pulls off her top. "Then show me."

Not sure what to do, how to start and how to be with her, I hesitate. It's been a while and last time I didn't have a raging Beast inside of me threatening to come out and cause havoc. I want to show her. I want there to be no doubt. I want…

Catherine, no patience and no willingness to wait, grabs my hands and positions them on her breasts. A small gasp escapes as my fingers form around them and each thumb makes contact with her nipples. I watch fascinated as they pucker at my touch and at how Catherine responds; how she arches, how her head falls back, how her lips separate, and how her eyes darken with desire.

'_Show me!'_

Her words echo as a challenge, a command, a permissive go-ahead… She wants me to show her that I want her… that I desire her… that I crave her…

So I do.


	10. Touch Me! (Part2)

Part 2. It is hard to write romance and sex scenes. Hope I did alright.

Review please and let me know what you think.

Writing "So you can be Mine" next. Check it out. We are heading into the juicy stuff.

Then after that, "Fire and Ice". It is going to be a Hot one, LOL

Thanks Birgitta

All rights belong to CW

**9. Touch me!**** – Vincent POV Part 2 (to "Tell me! Show me!")**

'_Show me!'_

Catherine lays down next to me with one knee up and arms stretched up above her head. It's to entice and bring forth a reaction. And, it works… Oh God, does it work.

I turn to my side, my wanting pressing into her thigh, and I lift my right hand up above her. Not sure where to start, how to start, I halt it there and hold.

Catherine's lips move and I know what is coming. "Touch me!" She whispers as she presses her breasts upward, showing me where she wants my hands first.

She understands my hesitation and she is guiding me, trying to make it easier. I love how she accepts and assists, in every way, even when it comes to intimacy. Back in the day, before, I would not have needed her to aid me. There would have been no hesitation and no doubt of what to do. But, it's different now.

Carefully, inching towards her, I lower my hand and it trembles as it makes contact. Her skin is so soft, perfect, like the rest of her. She is too beautiful for me. I shouldn't be here with her, in her bed, and with my hand caressing her breast. She deserves better than me… better than a failed experiment… better than a Beast.

Her chest presses up again, pressing at my palm, as I touch her and my thoughts evaporate. No matter what I think and believe, she does not agree. I can tell by her breathing, her pulse, her moans, and by the way her body writhe under my touch. She wants me… so what am I waiting for?

'_Show her… leave no doubt...'_

My hand grows more greedy as my touch turns braver. It wants to explore it all, every bit of her. Fascinated, I watch how her nipples respond and stiff. I've thought my hands too big, too rough, and too Beast-like to ever be able to arouse a woman again. Yet… here she is… a Beauty… squirming and thrashing because of my attention. Growing even bolder, the need and desire for her pushing me along, I let my hand wander down her stomach as my mouth sink down. Her breasts taste as good as they look and feel. I lick, suck, and play with them as if they are mine…

'_Hell, they are mine! Mine alone! No one else better…'_

I halt my thoughts as I feel anger build. Desire apparently doesn't seem to bring forth the Beast, but rage and jealousy definitely would. I have to stay clear of all such notions and simply concentrate on…

She moans and my anger stills. Just like that, my complete focus returns to pleasing her. Looking up, I see that her eyes are closed. She is biting her bottom lip and her hands are gripping the bed railing feverously. I've nearly started and I am already making her toes curl. Wanting to give her more, give her everything, I separate my mouth from her breasts and she gives a sigh of disappointment. A tiny smile brushes across my lips at the sound. There is no need for her to worry. I am just getting started. In fact, and perhaps I should have warned her before we got started, the experiment has increased more than just my strength. My stamina is unparallel, unmatched. I basically can't get tired or exhausted.

'_I could go all night…_ _I sure hope Catherine is ready… She asked for it…'_

I laugh and her eyes open to look at me. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," I answer, shaking my head, since neither of us want to talk.

Catherine was right. I didn't come to her apartment in the middle of the night to talk. Talk we can do in the morning. I came because I've wanted her desperately since the first time I saw her. I climbed through her window into her bedroom because yesterday she kissed me and started something that I thought would never be. I sat down on her bed because I read her letter and I want the same. I want to take us to another level which doesn't involve clothes... none at all.

While my mouth was busy, one hand was resting on her flat stomach. It has been still and inactive. That's about to change. I let that hand wander south, downward. She gives a small gasp as my fingers slide over her silky shorts and touch her where she is the most sensitive. Responding, her eyes close again and her head tips backward, making her chin rise towards the ceiling. Wanting to see her, all of her, and take us to that next level, I descend my mouth again to her skin. Like she did on me, I trail kisses along her body except I move down. With her lust increasing, I know for I can hear her breathing and heart rate picking up, her hands move into my hair and she grips.

As my kisses reach her abdomen, her other leg bends and I reposition myself between her lifted knees. She gives a low and deep moan, from deep down inside of her, sounding more like a Beast than a Beauty. Desire is bringing out the darker side of her, the side that is ruled by wanting and needing. I think I am really going to like this side and I hope to see a lot more of it.

"Vincent," she aches, urging me to place my hands on either side of her boxers and pull.

Little by little, her sleep bottoms are removed and her feminine beauty is revealed to me. She is everything… more… than I could ever have fantasized.

"Touch me," she pleads and there is no need to ask where.

As she teased me, drove me to the brink of sexual madness, I do the same. My lips come down at her hipbones, the insides of her thighs, and her abs. Purposely, I avoid that very spot where she craves my lips the most. She groans and growls, the darkness building in her until she is more she-demon than I am Beast. It is not until I have her exactly where I want her, begging and pleading, that my mouth descends and I taste her.

During my seduction of her, I have held it together and kept my desire under control for I want to please her. Yes, I am part Beast and the Beast in me wants to take her hard, fast, and rough. But I am also part man and the man wants to make love to her, not just have raw sex.

'_Sex,'_ the Beast roars, making my equipment grow harder.

I have held off the Beast well, kept it at bay, kept it under the surface, and prevented it from coming out… until now. The closeness to her sex and to sex; the scent, the taste, the sound of her receptiveness, the eagerness and willingness in her thrusting hips … it is too much. She is too tempting. Her fingers are in my hair, pushing me against her center and urging me to go deeper. She is giving me permission to explore, take as much I want,and to take her. She wants it. I certainly want it. There is no need to hesitate, to wait, and to torture the both of us.

Using my speed, I remove my boxers and move on top of her. Our bodies link; hips against hips, abs against abs, chest against chest, and lips against lips. I let her taste herself, taste her own salty wetness and her readiness. Leaving my head, her hands run down my back and trace the curves. Fingernails dig into me, grabbing at my ass, and that's when I finally become a part of her.

Every neuron fires up and turns to full alert but it's not of the surroundings. The sounds from the street, the apartment next door, and the electrical buzzes disappear. All my senses are locked in on her. Only she exists and what she doing to me… what I am doing to her. I move inside of her and she moves with me. Each little thrust, grind, and impact causes a rush of emotions throughout me. I am swimming, drowning, dying, living, floating, flying… it is all… it is everything… and I never want it to end. Her fingers dig in deeper and the pain increases the pleasure, driving me closer to the edge. I want to tell her to slow down, to not rush it, yet I can't speak. My mind refuses to waste vigor on formulating sentences. It only wants to feel, experience, and go further, deeper, and higher.

Her moaning has changed to a raspy struggle and similar sounds are heard from me. I want to call out her name, scream her name with heated passion, but I can't even do that. All the strength, stamina, and power of a Beast, and I can't even articulate a name. All the trainings of a Physician and the DNA manipulation, and I can't even think a thought. All I can do is move, move inside of her, and escalate higher… higher… higher…

We let go and my neurons explode, every single one of them; 100 billions of nerve cells. Not able to hold myself up, so much for super strength, I lower myself to her chest and lay there. I pant to the beat of her heart. My sensitive ears are deaf to all sounds except her beating heart and breathing. I can feel her lips against the top of my head and her hands wrapping around me.

'_Perfect,'_ my heart sings and my mind agrees.

How it all became possibly, I do not know. After asking myself for so many years; Who could ever love a Beast? To have a Beauty do just this… it had seemed a dream, a unrealistic fantasy, not possible… and yet…

I raise my head and kiss her, thanking her, loving her, and promising her that I will give her all and more she could ever want… forever.

**That's it for now, but I have plans for this story. **

**Oh boy, I hope you are ready for a crazy story line.**

**Till next time, B**


	11. 10 Another

So disappointed with where the series is going so have had no desire to write. Yet, here is another chapter.  
Review and there will be more chapters. Thanks Birgitta

**10. Another. **

I wake up to an empty bed. Turning over to my side and breathing in, I can smell his scent on the pillow and sheets. Last night was amazing. He is finally mine. And now he is in my apartment and… cooking me breakfast.

Even though, I want to go to him, wrap my arms around and get close, I know what I need. The shower proves hot and cleansing which is what I need. I can't go to work and reek of sex. Tess is like a bloodhound. She picks up on everything.

With my hair still dripping, being in a hurry, I walk out to the kitchen and do what I've wanted to do ever since waking up. "Good morning," I purr, feeling perfectly content and whole.

I have my gorgeous dream man in my kitchen, dressed in only row rider jeans, cooking me breakfast. It's hard to imagine that life could get any more perfect than this. But the truth is that this is just the beginning. We have the rest of our lives together… to make memories… make love… make babies… I blush and I am happy that he can't see my face.

Although with Vincent, such things have no importance. "What is it?" He asks and turns. He studies me, evaluating my flush. "What are you thinking about?"

I give a quick a shake of my head and lean in to kiss him. "Nothing… last night."

"Oh yeah," he grins, making me melt and wishing that I had the day off. "Last night… that was incredible… I can't even believe that it happened… that you are mine…"

"Well I am, in every way."

We eat breakfast and then I have to leave. It's probably one of the hardest things that I have ever done. But, I do know that he will stay close. He is never very far away.

"Wow, you look… did you get lucky last night?" Tess the bloodhound gets right on the trail as soon as I enter and walk to my desk. Teasingly, she sniffs me as I pass by and I shake my scolding her. "So, who is this guy and when do I get to meet him? Actually, more importantly, what's his name so that I can look him up? You do have a thing for bad boys."

Tess is right and now I have the ultimate bad boy; a military experiment who turns into a raging Beast when angered… like a Hulk but less green. If only Tess knew that we have already looked him up in our computer. I had known right away when I saw his picture. And it wasn't just that I recognized him from somewhere. There was a connection, a surge. I had just known that he was someone important… someone important to me.

"Hello, space traveler," Tess says and waves her hand in front of my dazed eyes. I blink and return to the here. "I'm sure the sex was great but we have a homicide to investigate."

I have just taken off my leather jacket and hung it on the back of my chair but now I am putting it right back on again. This is my job. It is never repetitive and dull. We never know what we will be doing, who we will meet, and where we will end up. Despite the risk and the graveness of investigating a life ended, I love my job.

"Young woman, age 22, found this morning in a dumpster. Evan is already there. She was beaten to death sometime last night between 6 – 9pm. We are yet to identify her…"

Tess continues and I given her my full attention, taking mental notes as she goes over what information she has. The drive is short, not far at all from the precinct. When we arrive, Evan meets us and walks with us to the crime scene. Looking down at the body, my mind flashes for a brief moment and I can see my sister's pretty face. It usually does when I see young girls like this killed. Heather is not always the most careful. Luckily, I am not the only one Vincent looks over.

To ensure nothing is missed, Tess and I split up and survey the scene. When a crime takes place in the open like this, it is hard to know what belonged and what didn't. Something striking could have been there previously, left by another, and have nothing to do with this case. Yet…

I lean in closer and read the marking left on the side of the dumpster; "NO FORGIVENESS FOR A SLUT."

"What've you got?" Tess asks from across the alley and comes over. "Looks like someone used their car keys. It might be from our killer… might not. "

"Yeah," I reply as an alert is buzzing in my head, telling me to pay heed to the wording. There is something familiar. "Tess, do you remember seeing this or something similar in a different homicide case?"

"When?"

"I don't know… about 10 years ago."

Tess lets out a laugh and rolls her eyes at me. "10 years ago? And, you still remember? Wow, you are amazing, Cat… in a good way… but still… Wow and no, I do not remember seeing this before."

But I do, clearly. So when I get back to my desk, I start going through the records. I know that I have seen that kind of working and key marking before. The recollection is sending eerie shivers up my back. Whoever did that to the girl was strong and full of fury. Whoever did it is still out there… and whoever did it, I believe has done it before… some 10 years ago.

'_Bingo'_, I exclaim to myself as the case fills up my screen.

Eyes wide open and mind soaking in every detail, I read over the case and the report. _"… young girl age 24 years of age found in dumpster… cause of death severe trauma to head and body… marking on side of dumpster with sharp pointy tool… 'NO FORGIVENESS FOR A WHORE'…"_

It's not an exact match but it's close enough. It's close enough for the shivers to increase and create goose bumps on my arms. I keep reading and learn that no one was ever arrested. The only one under investigation was the girl's boyfriend but was cleared when his whereabouts was investigated. There were no known disputes at work, with a friend, or with family. No excessive partying or history of drugs or… I skim through the rest until my eyes freezes in shock on a name.

My mind begins to spin. _'What does this mean? What is the connection? It cannot be… Yet…'_

"Cat, what's wrong?"

I rush out of my chair, grab the print out, and head for the door. "Not sure. I'll let you know once I found out more."

I'm gone before Tess can ask anything else. Once outside, I begin to scan the roof tops. He can't be far. He is never far. He might have stayed in my apartment for an hour. Two tops and then he would have gotten anxious. It is strange how well I know him despite of not knowing him for very long and not really knowing anything about him. Yet, I do know one thing; he loves me and there is nothing more important to him than my safety.

I turn a corner and walk down a dark alley. Here there are no spying eyes and overhearing ears. Just as predicted, a thump behind me is followed by familiar strong arms wrapping around my waist… Vincent. His kisses are as they were this morning; full of sexual longing for my naked body against his. Our relationship can never go back to what it used to be… Thank God for that for I would never want it to.

The paper nearly slips out of my grip as his kisses deepen and turn me into pliable weakness. What was but minutes ago so urgent has now lost all importance. My mind and body are equal jell-o; wiggly and absentminded. So, I release it all; stress, worry, and … print-out. The paper glides from my hand and falls slowly to the ground.

In one smooth motion, Vincent catches my police record while still holding me close to his chest. "What's this?" He asks and looks down reading. I watch his face carefully as his eyes dart across the paper and then stop. "What is this? Why did you print this?"

"That was her, wasn't it? The girlfriend that you friend was sure was cheating?"

"Yes but… I don't understand. What are you saying?"

He releases me and I am force to carry my own weight once again. My legs feel slightly unsturdy but I fight through it. Vincent is looking down at me with severity and grave concern. This was one of his closest friends. He fought alongside this person. They were both the victims of an unjust and unethical experiment. Vincent believes that his friend was killed by Muirfield to cover up their mistake. And, now I am saying that…

'_What am I saying?'_

"Vincent, there was another homicide this morning…" He keeps staring, blank stare waiting for me to spell it out. "…young girl, similar appearance, and same message left scratch into the side of a dumpster…" Vincent does not move or speak. I study him for a sign of what is going on in his head but he reveals nothing. "… and both women were beaten to death by someone very strong… unnaturally strong…"

"What are you saying, Catherine?" He finally asks.

I swallow hard before I can manage the utter the words that is about to change it all. "Vincent, are you sure that you were the only one who survived? Are you sure that there is not another Beast out there on the street… killing young girls in jealous rage?"


	12. 11 Ray

Been a while. I was going to mark it complete cause I had no desire or drive to write anymore. But out of nowhere comes reviews & 2 PMs. So thank them for me posting another chapter.

Let me know if you like it and how you think Vincent is going to react, cause we all know what is about to go down. Right?  
Happy Cinco de Mayo, B

**11. Ray.**

For a moment, as she asks, I feel as if I am once again having a blackout. My body and mind are no longer mine and under my control. Images and memories rush back. I see him, my old friend as he used to be; smiling and joking. I see him as he was before they injected us with their poison and turned us into Beasts… Ray.

'_Beast… another one… I'm not alone...'_

"Vincent." Catherine is trying to reach me. She wants me to share my thoughts and feelings. "Can he have survived?"

I shake my head, not able to believe it. "It's not possible… and he would have searched me out. If Ray was alive, he would have tried to find other survivors."

"You survived and you have not tried to find anyone else because you were not aware that anyone had survived. He has probably been in hiding, just like you."

Her words work their way inside my head where they are processed and considered. Catherine is right. I have been in hiding. And, I have done my best to stay under the radar, under Muirfield's radar. So, it could be possible. Ray could have survived. There could be another one like me. My friend could be…

Catherine reaches me again with more to process. "Vincent, I know that he was your friend and what this would mean for you, but…" I search her face and find her eyes; big, brown, and concerned. She is always placing me first. "… if he is alive, he is killing young girls. He is not able to control his anger and his strength. He is not able to control the Beast. He's a killer."

"So am I," I remind her and instantly cause a deep crevice between her eyebrows.

"Vincent, you don't kill innocent girls out of jealousy and rage… do you?" There is no need to answer. Catherine knows me better than anyone, even better than TJ. "Vincent, who ever this is, he is dangerous. He can't be left roaming. What do you want me to do?"

Catherine risks so much for me. She will sacrifice her job and her own safety to keep me safe. It is not right. She shouldn't do it. Yet, I love her for it because her actions speak louder than any word she has ever told me. Her actions are all solid proofs that she loves me; as deeply and profoundly as I love her.

"I'll take care of it. I'll track the killer and if it's Ray, then I'll…"

I stop there, unable to finish. If Ray is alive and has killed innocents, then I am expected to kill him. Catherine expects me to. And, whatever Catherine needs and wants is hers… usually… but this is different.

"_There may be another one like me… someone who can truly understand… someone who knows what it is like… someone to share this curse with."_

"Vincent," she whispers, up on her tiptoes so that her lips are close to mine. "I love you."

A kiss and then she walks off. I turn to watch her leave, heavy hearted. The thought of disappointing her twists my insides till I am panting in pain. Feeling my heartrate pick up from the out of control emotions, I escape into the shadows and make it for the warehouse. TJ is gone which is just as well. I can hear his lecturing voice in my head, telling me that any interaction with would be suicide because if Catherine is on to Ray, then Muirfield is too.

When I come up on the warehouse, I sense it immediately. To anyone else, the air is normal: traces of fumes, dust, dirt, sea… but to me, to the Beast, there is a distinct scent lingering under all of it. I pick up my pace, nearly taking off running, for I must see. Could it be? Could it be possible? I hope that it is and not at the same time. If it is possible and true, then I am no longer the only one. For 10 years, I have silently prayed for this moment. But this would also mean that my old friend could be a merciless killer and that I would be expected to end him.

I swing open the front door with such power that I fear that I might have damaged the hinges. There is another. I can smell it. I can… I freeze as a figure materializes like out of dream and a well known face lights up into a big smile. Four massive steps towards me and equally strong arms wraps around me hard. Knowing that I shouldn't, hearing Catherine's warnings and plead ring throughout, I lift my arms and crush him with matched force.

"Vincent… Good damn, it's good to see you. I thought I was the only one who made it out of there alive."

'Afghanistan… hell on earth… at least for us it had proven to be. It's where we were made into Beast. The objective had been to make us into welltrained and obedient Super Soldiers. It didn't quite work out that way. The drugs the injected us with turned us more into raging Hell Hounds; uncontrollable and deadly.

"Where have you been, Ray?" I ask and declasp my arms around him.

Yet _'What have you been doing?' _is what I truly want to ask.

He pulls away and we are finally face to face so that I can see him clearly. He looks the same, but is he the same? What challenges has he gone through, being on the run, always looking over his shoulders, and never feeling safe? I lucked out because I had JT. JT has cared for me financially, given me shelter, and kept me hidden. Who has Ray had to look after him? If I had not had JT would I not be different right now? What would I have been forced to do? How can I judge Ray for whatever he has been forced to do while living under such impossible circumstances? Who am I to judge him for just trying to survive? I am not…

'… _if he is alive, he is killing young girls. He is not able to control his anger and his strength. He is not able to control the Beast. He's a killer.'_

Catherine's words shatter all guilt and hesitation. I must know. Not just for me and for Catherine, but for those girls and their loved ones. If Ray killed them, he has to be contained… before he loses control again and kills another.

"Ray, I've got to ask you something," I start and scan the room for he seems to have moved.

My eyes find him over by my bed. He is standing with his bowed down looking at something in his hands. It's a photo frame. In it, a picture of the one person that makes my heart beat faster than anyone else have ever managed.

Ray looks up at me and points a finger at the picture and asks the unallowable. "Cute girl…. does she have a sister?"


End file.
